Books and Abstracts

Here are some Books and Abstracts free for download written by Ian A. Wilson. They are in PDF format.

Living days in my dreams – Continuing saga of Time in Dreams.

July 30, 2010

When I am waking up, I have decided to also include my dreams that I can recall before I start the WBTB method of dreaming. I am noticing some interesting info seems to come in these dreams so I want to capture them and render them into textual format.

If you are new to the Blog, you might want to read “Dreaming a ‘Century of Time’ During One Night of Sleep” and “Lucid Dreaming Techniques” before continuing. My current dream goal is to have an epic vertical of time that reaches the title of thread. So far, I am definitely cultivating time in dreams. However, there are certain details which suggest much of the time is fast-forwards and memory lapses. There is no question of lots of gained sense of time; as to how effective and acute this is can only be confirmed with further study and research.

My dream log will include dreams that occur before I apply the desired intent; in the final dream where I use the WBTB method (Wake-Back-To-Bed) covered in the above technique posting and try to log as much detail as I can recall with estimates of time. There clearly are areas where there are memory lapses, the dream seems to fast-foward and skip to new sections. The fast-forward could just be memory lapse or deliberate it is starting to appear that it is genuine fast-fowarding. Regardless of this time-killing limit; in 50 minutes of sleep I can wake up with hours and hours of dreams.

These are dreams that occur before I apply the WBTB technique.

Dream 1

This was an interesting dream that had a fun plot where my Father was living in the USA, he was working with the President of the United States as a spiritual adviser as part of a Secret Society where he was a high-ranking official (Nothing could be further from the truth, this is pure fantasy and dream fabrication… my father in waking life is a great person; humble and hard working. No secrets here).

The dream started with a strange journey of food with my 18mo daughter. We were traveling down a gravel road by a river. I was foraging for food and found a small two foot patch that had onions and garlic. I harvested some of the items.

There was an abandoned cabin that I crawled through the window and opened up so my Daughter and I could have shelter. We gathered in side and had onion and garlic soup and slept.

This triggered a loop so the exact above dream repeated itself one more time.

The second time we sleep and wake up, I am in Pennsylvania at an old Masonic lodge. My daughter is not with me. This is where I find out about my father, I tell the person at the lodge who I am and who my father is. They tell me how high-ranking he is and let me in.

I walk up and there is Hilary Clinton there. She is happy to see me and excited that we finally get to meet. She said she heard so much about me and thinks it’s marvelous to have both my Father and I working with the President. I shake her hand and tell her that I am having Deja Vu.

She asks me how I know it’s Deja Vu and I tell her I just know. This triggers some lucid awareness and I stop looking at her curious face and decide to show her. This is where the dream got very interesting.

I stopped the dream and it became a kaleidoscope of colored textures and I started to move into the data until pockets of images appeared faded and mixed in the kaleidoscope. Imagine a multidimensional fractal with many nodes and threads of information all interconnected in a way that is not to different from the Mandelbrot Set. Except you can move in any direction and each direction has data and information that when you stop and look at it forms visual information.

I was moving through one stream moving through the data and stopped at a scene with two zebras in it. I pause for a second and keep moving until I get to this dream. It was very interesting to look at the data of the dream from this perspective, I could slow it down, move it forward and when I found it, I was said, “Aha, here’s the source of the Deja Vu”.

I am fascinated by this database and I look at what is going to happen next, I watch myself leave and go down a flight of stairs to a basement. There is this little demon creature that has a cartoon face like a half-demon / half-dragon. It’s olive green with a short stubby body almost like a miniature T-Rex, lizard like with a tail.

It is following me but I didn’t notice it until I had this third-person view, and it was trying to influence me in the precog. I could move into this data and be there first-person, move back out and watch it third-person. The demon creature didn’t succeed in influencing me. The whole time I am having wave after wave of deja; as to what type of deja this might be, I’ll have to ask a friend.

When I fast forward, I get attacked by two people in the basement who think I am there to attack them. I watch us fight. I rewind and go into that point and change the dream so that in stead of fighting, I talk with them and peacefully resolve their fear without violence.

I rewind to the part where the demon tries to influence the fight and enter the dream. This time I turn and look at the demon and smile and pat it on the head, “You cannot influence me, I have free will.” and I affectionate treat it like a child and am kind and compassionate with it. It responds to this positively and becomes happy and leaves.

I started to recognize that this was a probability field within the database, that there were certain probability points and it seemed to have massive amounts of data in these small node like threads that made up the fractal kaleidoscope effect. The colors where all soft pastel and light, it was beautiful as a textured pattern and fun to traverse.

I could move left/right/up/down… it was like seeing the Schrodinger’s cat thought paradox brought to life in this amazingly detailed animated database. I was overwhelmed with excitement at having realized this is a natural method for accessing dream memory but slightly disappointed that The phone rang; interrupting this interaction. I wish it had not, this was felt like valuable information. My wife’s father called at 1:28am waking me up. He lives in Zimbabwe so the timezone is an issue.

However that said, in all likelihood I may not have remembered this dream without the interruption as so many dreams like this become layered and compartmentalized into sleep-induced amnesia so I consider the interruption a gift. I raced to my computer and typed out as much detail as I could. I felt this was a real gem of information to recall.

It’s still too early to so my WBTB method, so I decide that I am just going to go back to bed and free-style my dreams.

Woken up by wife’s cell phone ringing.

Time to Bed: 12:00am
Time Awoken: 1:28am
Time-To-Sleep: ~20m
Total Time Slept: 1h 8m
Total Estimated Time: ~2h
Time Gained: ~52m

Dream 2

This was kind of a fun dream, the plot of the dream was I was playing a type of role-playing game that involved a type of softball or tennis ball that we would throw and it would be intelligently rolled after someone in a form of tag.

There were three players, three balls and we were throwing them not at each other per-say rather throwing them then using dream control to move them and chase down the other person. It was actually quite fun trying to run and dodge the ball; when it hit you it felt like a wave of energy rippling through you; so felt pleasant and fun.

We played for a while until I was interrupted. I decided to just make quick notes of this and go back to sleep.

Woke up by baby crying.

Time-To-Bed: 2:35am

Time-Awake: 3:12am
Time-To-Sleep: ~10m
Total Time Slept: 37m
Total Estimated time: ~30m
Time Gained: ~ -7m

Dream 3

This is another dream that had a lot of extra time. This dream was all about being in the Military and having been drafted. I was in basic training and vaguely remember going through boot-camp. I had some memory of waking up going to sleep and training; however when I started to realize and remember the dream that data was more or less completely irrelevant time wise.

It was when I became more aware in the dream, not lucid but rather having more memory, awareness and perception did I start really sinking in a sense of time. There certainly was lots of potential time prior to the more acute awareness; but by this time it seemed to just be memory although I did feel that it had context of days. I certainly had a sense of going through this basic training and boot camp but all that data was now memory when my waking-self become more coherent within the dream. I hope that makes sense. It seems the introduction of my waking-self at any measure of acute awareness increases the sense-of-time greatly. Otherwise it’s like that database, just there and I can zoom through it fast forward and stop where I want. I feel that is really important info. That many of these dreams already exist within this hyper-dimensional database [memory]; there seems to be a pre-planning even with dreams; however when and where that planning is occurring is certainly layered within this non-linear dimensionality of dreaming.

It is the act of slowing down the data, and taking time to experience that yields a sense-of-time relevant to how we experience time here. Otherwise, that database has potentially centuries if not more of unrendered, unrealized data just waiting for illumination by the waking-self to proceed into the data-stream and render an experience relative to what that data represents.

It is the act as my waking-self’s participation that brings to life these experiences; otherwise they remain as unrendered and unrealized data… to my waking self only.

This is all very fascinating to bring to my waking life through dream recall. I’m truly having the time of my life with my dreams right now.

Back to the army dream. It is the rush of adrenalin I have when I know we are leaving to go into real life combat that get’s me more focused into the dream. We are rushing to load our gear into an airplane. I have this 50′ caliber sniper rifle in a large case and drop it off at a cargo-loading conveyor belt.

I’m told that I can’t bring my side arms on the plane so I have to leave them on the belt also. I’m then told by my sergeant that I need to make sure I have a flash-light so I leave to go find one.

It is here where the dream shifts and instead of being back at my barracks, I am at a shopping mall looking to buy a flash-light from a shop. There is this bakery island shop in the center of the mall and they have all these large cake slices and other baked goods. I’m hungry and decide to sample some of the items.

I eat a fluffy pink colored cake, it tastes really good, like strawberry cake, raspberry filling and icing. I love the texture and flavor. I then sample a chocolate cake. Again, full of flavor. Some guy makes a comment that I’m eating like a pig and will get fat.

I walk to a shop that is selling flashlights but they are very expensive; ornate with gems and diamond some have these really nice clocks in them. Very strange to see such ornate work and prices ranging from $21.00 all the way into the thousands.

This was too high-class for me; I wanted a simple flashlight and left to go find one. I get woken up again by the little one.

Time-To-Bed: 3:30am
Time-Awake: 4:20am
Time-To-Sleep: ~10m
Total Time Slept: 40m
Total Estimated time: ~2h 0m
Time Gained: ~ 1h 30m

(Although this dream seemed to last a long time based on the memory of the dream or in the dream, I cannot say it gave me a true sense of that time. The awareness and perception needed to make the time dilate simply wasn’t acute enough. So I have to only track the time that I feel was relevant to my waking memories.)

Dream 4

This is a short dream, probably about 10m worth where I am rock climbing with Bette, she’s way up a large cliff. And I am basically just scaling the cliff with rope and harness attached.

The kid is obviously restless so she kicks me in the face and I wake up.

Time-To-Bed: 5:15am

Time-Awake: 6:00am
Time-To-Sleep: ~30m
Total Time Slept: 45m
Total Estimated time: ~10m
Time Gained: ~ -35m

What a restless sleep, but lots of dreaming and very interesting dreams so I am happy. I get out of bed after this final interruption and prepare for my 60m WBTB method. Sit and write out much of the above text.

WBTB Method Dream.
Dream 5

It is this dream time that I deliberately try to be lucid and prolonged the sense-of-time in a dream. This one yielded a lot more time then the military dream as I managed to have more acute awareness during the days. I am running out of time however so I need to leave this dream in my key-notes so it will seem abbreviated to the actual time that passed.

Day 1:
Started a new job with 4 people at a startup company.
Working in software development creating a flash game.
Spending hours infront of a computer typing and compiling a game gets repetative.
Breaking out framework and database details.
Working long hours and hard.
Leave work drive home. Sleep. Fast-forwards through dream.

Day 2:
Drive back to work, there is a parkade.
Have to go to floor 2, walk down hallway.
The office is on street level with glass windows open to sidewalk.
Meet with Owners discuss direction. Other people doing art assets for game.
Everything is coming along. Have an IT guy setting up more stations.
Lots of time spent actually thinking typing and creating game logic.
Making lots of progress on the game framework.

Day 3:
Everyone is happy with the progress so far. Hiring more staff.
I’m in charge of the flash game; still the dominant coder.
Company is branching into some other products so I just work on the game.
It’s a zombie game; building out levels, objects and asset management.
Using google to try to find algorithms and code snippits to shorten time.
Making great progress; everyone seems happy.

Day 4:
I had worked late the night before and came in at 10:00am to find my desk moved into a corner.
My computer has switched, I have a crappy chair. I am angry trying to figure out what’s going on.
We have a new operations manager. The guy is a dick. I know him from before. He just wants to get
rid of me. They are going to outsource my job to China.
Instead of working the rest of the two weeks to help integrate this chinese team I just grab my stuff.
Address all the staff that they are working for a company that is going to outsource all their jobs away.
I tell them if they want to stay.. stay but I am getting the fuck out of here right now.
They cheer at me and the Owner is pissed. The Operations manager is shocked and I tell them both to fuck off.
I worked really hard and had fast results so felt they could suck my dick.
All the new staff was definitely not happy with me leaving and why.
I’m angry and I want to beat the piss out of the OM. But I decide he’s not worth my time.
The Parkade has an single-car train and tracks instead of an elevator and you basically go around the tracks.
I get to my car and start driving but realize I left some important personal items at the office.
I have to go back.
I drive to the parkade and this time, I am lost and can’t find the exit. The dream changed somewhat
so the second floor access was now a concrete beam on and ends at a sign that says floor 2.
About 20 feet up on this beam I look down and now see the door. I jump down.
A person I worked with is there and he tells me that it was a dick move what they did.
I tell him it’s ok. I’ve decided to just work for myself and not deal with this kind of BS.
I go to the office and lots of people have left. There is no OM and owner.
I walk in and get my items and wake up.

Time-To-Bed: 7:00am
Time-Awake: 7:40am
Time-To-Sleep: ~10m
Total Time Slept: 30m
(This is really hard to gauge because there was a lot of days here, fast-forwarding and memory lapses and I can’t go over my footnotes to flush out; meaning lots of the memory has collapsed and faded. However, I felt like many hours indeed passed that I could recall, I’ll estimate at least 5 hours.)
Total Estimated time: ~5h 0m
Time Gained: ~ 4 30m

I’m off for the day, have to take the kids to go see Grandma… joy. Back late in the evening. Happy Dreaming everyone!

An Interesting Spontaneous Lucid Dream.

July 29, 2010

Normal Sleep Spontaneous Lucid Dream.

I had a lot of information in my normal dreams prior to interrupting my sleep to practice lucid dreaming. I wanted to get it down asap. This is but a fraction of what I can remember; there was another entire sequence that I know I wanted to recall; the data was definitely intriguing but what I can recall is still very interesting but don’t read into it too much.

Just to note the baby woke up at the time I was going back to bed so she kind of killed my routine for the day. Busy working on projects however this is an interesting dialog within a dream.

The Lucid Dream

Where I pick up memory I am talking to some lady about truth seeking and she is really having her way with me intellectually.

Lady, “You can’t assume buzzing around here [non-physical reality] you are going to get it? [what everything is all about]. There is so much more going on then what you see.”

“I understand; there is a lot of data to sift through here. I can’t take it all in at once, it has to be processed over time.”, I tell her.

Lady, “What makes you think you’ve figured it out? There are so many more realizations you need to go through. You’re just a small fraction of the bigger picture. There are layers after layers of interconnected experiences and states you need to realize.”

I get a bit dismayed at her constant assumptions that I have no memory or data of my own. “What do you think I’ve been doing all this time. It’s all about deconstructing this experience to clear myself of ego and belief. I know I have existed before this lifetime. I know that I am entangled in this life so I must express myself as Ian, but that is just a filter. It’s not who I really am, just who I am expressing myself as.”

Lady, “And you think that’s it?”

“No of course not, there is a lot more… too much more that’s the problem. The information is astronomical. All I can do is filter in what I know and act on that knowledge; which is limited and difficult at best.”

Lady, “I see, you think you are an expert then.”

I laugh, “Look, I exist. That there is the problem. I exist so I have to figure out this mess I am in and make sense of it. I’ve existed before this life. I remember that. I know I have had past-lives; I’ve seen many of them. I know that I have also been other organic lives; insects even. The spectrum of experience I have indulged in is huge. That won’t change. My awareness and access to this data isn’t always in my consciousness, I know it’s here now and I can explore it when I need to understand it more.”

I just upload all of this symbolic representations of things I have experienced; patterns I have been.

“Now it’s all about the current experiences; where I am at and how I get further past my limitations and given the nature of this experience; it seems a very large task. It’s not self-serving by any means; it’s the causality of existing which is the problem. I am dragging all of that down there with me.[my plight of being a non-physical being and having reality and existence entrapped in a human experience] “

She seems to listen but she does really have a high and mighty attitude. “Really, you think any of that is real?”

“It doesn’t matter, are you real? Am I real? The data is real. At least until I dismiss it as such and even then; it’s real enough to me. The data is something [dreams as organized thoughts forming reality] I’ve seen dreams come true; I’ve changed dreams that have come true. I know the data can be changed and I can change it. Not saying I have to change it or want to change it; just part of deconstructing the experience so I can understand it better.”, I tell her.

She looks more concerned then anything, “And you think by changing anything that is going to make a difference?”

“That is exactly my point, I don’t know everything. I am not saying I know everything. There is too much data to just know. What I do know is right now I exist and I must endeavor what that means and how to grow from the experience of being.”

I upload another set of data showing the precognitive experiences and alterations to some of it to her.

“Well it seems like you have a lot of it figured out. [Causality through organized thoughts]”, she explains.

“No, not really… there is so much more here then these small examples.”, I tell her.

She replies, “Well, you should speak with Darrel then, he can assist you further. I can’t help you further here.”

I meet Darrel who is actually a person I know in real-life but here he’s more acute to the inner-workings of things and full of confusing advice.

“What is the most frustrating thing bothering you right now?” he asks.

“Objectivity with others Darrel, you know how frustrating it is to go through this and not share this with others?”, I explain.

“Why do you have to share it? [The dream experience]”, he asks.

“Because it can be shared. We can grow into more objectivity. I can handle the subjectivity and I don’t mind, but it’s nice to connect with people. Nice to share the same experience [data] with them. It’s frustrating to wake up and find very few that connect.”, I explain.

“Have you tried telling them to meet at a place and go there and meet them?”, he asks.

“No, most people are not interested dreaming, furthermore they lack the recall and skill usually to even remember if we do meet. Look, when I was younger all I did was get here, seek out my friends and tried to connect. Sometimes it worked, but for the hundreds and hundreds of other attempts it didn’t. I finally just gave up. Can’t keep kicking that old dog expecting results it wastes time. There has to be a better way.”, I explain.

“Why don’t all of you take some classes on being conscious, I know the Monroe Institute has a Gateway series, have you looked at that?”, he asks.

“It’s not that simple. I’d love it if everyone I knew developed skill in being conscious during sleep and remembered any mutual exchange. People are just not that interested. Trust me, I’ve proven it to friends and they still don’t bat an eye. It’s frustrating believe me. They don’t want this as bad as I do so they don’t pursue it. Or even worse, they have this connection and later in life they forget. I’ve been at this a long time. If it was easy it would be easy; it’s very complex and difficult. Frankly, people there [waking reality] just don’t get it. I wish they did, it would make for more interesting journeys let me tell you.”, I explain. “It’s not objective proof I need that we can share here with each other. I already know that rather it’s who to share it with. I want my closest friends and family to share this with me; and it’s their choice not mine so I can’t force them into this.”

“Have you worked on your diet, here let me show you.”, he directs my attention to a tv. “Build up your constitution and eat healthy food.”

The TV show is showing lots of fresh vegetables like broccoli and greens. The TV host is showing ways to make it taste a little better with fresh low-fat dips you can make etc.

“Yeah, I could get more healthy. That is good advice. I eat like crap but as you can see diet doesn’t prevent being here. The body is merely a filter for the experiences there. We are already here so all the food, drugs, alcohol and cigarettes we smoke down there doesn’t mean jack shit. It’s attention, focus and intent. A crippled monkey can be here because “here” doesn’t need a body.”, I tell him.

He looks at me with some dissatisfaction at my reply, “Being healthy makes it easier.”

“Does it? Seems pretty physical and less real to what is actually going on. You tell me all of the people with bodies who are here and don’t realize it are because they ate garbage food and didn’t think to check if that helps them realize this state or not? I really doubt it.”, I tell him.

I continue, “I think it’s all belief-systems, they don’t believe they are here. They don’t care that they are here… they don’t value anything that comes from here, even if they themselves come from here. It’s their beliefs and how they direct their awareness which prevents them from accessing the data here. Not the body as much. Can’t say we rule out the body but when it comes to being here, we’ll… here they are.”

I upload a perception of everyone being “here” in the dreamstate and unaware back in physical.

“Well what is it that you want?”, he asks.

“Lots of things, I still haven’t met another part of me that I realize yet; but that is just my perception everyone and everything could be a part of me and vice-versa so that’s a technical issue that I have to sort out. The other problem is meeting my oversoul which I think I have done but it’s not clear or fresh in my mind. I would like to get to know myself better and help others get here while they are still physical. Built more bridges; expand more experiences and create more purposeful data. Don’t rush to wake up, take time to get more useful data.”, I tell him.

He shows me a video about the Demigurge, and the black-iron prison of the mind. The video suggests we are somewhat trapped in fantasy land [waking reality] and are unable to escape to the dream reality where my focus is at the moment.

“I’ve thought about that many times over, are we being controlled and used. I don’t think so; it’s just the experience down there is as intense as it gets for us. Really scrambles up the mind; have to go at it [the data] with a human filter. All that belief, so much belief… not enough practical knowledge. Scary.”

“Crap, I am waking up!”, I blurt as my physical eyes open.

Time to Sleep: 12:00am
Time Awake: 5:00am
Estimated Time: unknown; lots of lost information on waking.

In reflection; this was an interesting exchange of ideas to different dream characters. It seemed like I was really just trying to sort out direction and intent as to what I wanted. Having all the memory to sort through, a maze of potential lifetimes stored as data was intense. The scale and scope of my arguments with these beings drew in lots of personal insights that indicate a greater reality then just the physical experience I am entangled in with at the moment.

Certainly some food for thought.