Books and Abstracts


Here are some Books and Abstracts free for download written by Ian A. Wilson. They are in PDF format.

August 1st, 2014 Dream Journal Entry

Back at my mothers for the long weekend. Lot’s of family as we have my niece and nephew staying at her house. I have to share my room with my daughter and we have two beds set-up so it’s like Hotel Grandma’s for her. I’m excited to get back at the dream study as I went to work very early Thursday as to get ahead on a project so I could focus on having a good long weekend, 4 days visiting family will be nice. The problem though the sound levels at this house are terrible for dreaming but I’ve bought ear-plugs and they make a big difference.

I go to sleep exhausted from getting up so early the other day and I wake up and have no dreams to recall but it’s 3:30AM so lots of time for dreaming in the second-sleep so I decide to do the WBTB method and get out of bed for 1 hour, make sure to use the bathroom so there will be no interruptions. I put in ear-plugs and decide to focus on the hypnagocic shift and pay attention to what that shift is like during sleep.

When I lay down, I immediately see hypnagogic imagery bubbling up like partly rendered wired meshes in fractal geometry that then layer over and form my thoughts but when I say that, I mean produce a vivid city and people walking about. My thoughts are not a verbal inner-monologue rather I am thinking in Non-Verbal forms such as visual objects and even some sounds. I like the effect, it’s exactly like dreaming except I am still awake and not projecting into the dream. The dream content is 2D, flat but fully animated. It’s not hard to do, it’s no different than thinking up a sentence or idea except in this form of thinking is similar to just watching TV in one’s mind. The thoughts produce a vivid photographic resolution animation.

As I get more relaxed, and entertained with this non-verbal thought process. I challenge myself to create more vivid and more real landscapes, plants, sky, mountains and people. I have this idea that I like Norman Rockwell far more than Norman Bates quality of images and dreams, ones that convey good morality, family and community so I create just that, based on Norman Rockwells pleasant art and social interactions the thoughts create really nice people, vividly rendered with nice clothes playing and having fun in a bustling rural town. The trees are amazingly perfect, lots of flowers and lawn gardens. I am still not in the dream so it’s still TV mode.

The sky is perfectly blue, the sun golden and cracks a few rays through the clouds. I marvel at how wonderful a gift this truly is and how nice it is to be able to produce this movie quality animation effortlessly using this non-verbal thought processes.

Then this fractal sphere starts to intrude on my vision and it takes center stage. It feels like some other entity and not myself. It has a face, but best described as Pareidolia. It’s a circle with dashed lines over a fractal like mosaic. It seems different, not entirely like a human but I have the impression that it is highly intelligent and sentient. It feels like the intelligence is peering into my soul and I am peering back. As I am not trying to create this articfact in my splendid animation, I try to change it into something else. However, it won’t change and feels like it’s something that I am not controlling or able to control.

Instead of worrying about the detail, I decide to study it as I’ve seen similar patterns like this in dreams before. So it has a familiarity too it linked to dreaming thus I decided it must have some symbolic importance or meaning. This makes me question if it is outside my own self, as an alien entity from some unknown depth of the unconscious, or if it is really just a manifestation of my own unconscious mind peering at my waking self on this crossroad. What I think is that it’s likely related to my own self in some way as another aspect of what I am. It certainly has a presence that is hard to describe, like someone watching you.

I think to it, “What are you?”

It vibrates and sends this beam of radiating energy at me. Hits me so hard I fall out of bed. I am now on the floor in my bedroom wondering how the hell I just rolled off my bed. I never fall off the bed. Not since my childhood. I’m also fully awake, not asleep or unconscious at all. I feel different, something strange is going on that can’t be explained.

As I replay the sensation of falling and hitting the ground from memory, there was something not normal about it. The fall was very light like my body had little mass. A real fall likely would have hurt and bruised knee or the sensation of bone hitting the hard wood floor should have been there. It wasn’t.

This was something else and I became excited and thought, “This should have hurt unless… no it can’t be. Am I out-of-body?”

Excited that I may actually be out-of-body rather than physically on my floor I get up and look at my bed. On the bed lies my body sleeping, rolled on the side facing the west with my hands tucked under my head cuddling the pillow. I light up like a Christmas tree with emotion. I don’t think I have had an OBE in years, mostly lucid dreams. Imagine being a bird locked in a cage for such a long time, and suddenly you are free. The other quality which I quickly noted was just how awake and aware I was in this new focus state. I may as well be physically awake, everything that makes me conscious and aware was in full focus.

I think, “Holy shit! This is fucking awesome!”. Having been such a long time, I didn’t want to miss a detail. The first thing I do is touch the arm of my physical body and feel the hairs. This draws my attention to the arm I am using to touch the body lying on the bed. What I observe is that the arm which I am now using as my interface, is small and atrophic.

The other detail is that I am very short, not standing at my usual height. The perspective in the room reflects this as if my whole body that I am using in that state is in atrophy. It didn’t matter though, I realized what was far more important was fact that I was as lucid, conscious and in this state aware and also able to see what appeared to by my physical body lying in my bed.

The next check was consistency, was the room that I was in the same room? I checked the floor and saw the fan, a bag and clothes. Seemed like everything that should be there was. The next check was my daughter’s bed, and sure enough she was sleeping soundly there as well. Everything seemed to represent the physical world as I am accustom to seeing it relative to this bedroom.

I kind of move/float to the door which is closed and I cannot interact with it, my hand is passing through the door knob. Based on past experiences with this state, I know a few options that I’ve explored in the past. Option 1 is to pass through the door, however past experiences has taught me that it can cause me to lose valuable conscious awareness and focus so with such a long time passing, this was not the desired option. Option 2 was to just stay local and explore the room, but I had already done that. The final option was to shift focus to this overlapping interactive interface which simulates the objective world but is far more dream-like in that I should be able to then open the door and operate in that space as if I was there. The problem with that is I won’t be locked into the physical connection and because it’s slightly more dream responsive, different objects, people and things can appear there when they have zero relevance to the physical state that it is simulating.

I don’t want to lose the most important quality which is the level of waking consciousness that I have. That is so critical and vital, I have to do everything to preserve it regardless of what ever the content becomes or is.

I am able to remember other times I have been at this crossroad and taken different steps. The other problem with passing into what appears as matter is an effect where my awareness connects and provides feedback regarding the matter that I pass through. For example, passing into steel would have a feeling associated to it as to what steel might feel like. The same goes for wood, or a mirror, or cloth. I’ve noticed this with water and earth, and it’s those properties which seem to also strip my focus because it’s like I become entangled atomically with the matter taking that approach.

I think about those qualities and take my time to make the next choice rather then feeling like I had to rush or do something with urgency as in my younger years was always the case. This was a unique refreshing opportunity to explore this state, what ever it is and in no way did I feel I was missing something by taking my time, slowly methodically rationalizing my options.

The next area of thought relates to the interactive pseudo-interface of physical reality. I know if I shift my focus just a bit to allow myself to engage the door and now open it, I will be in this focus state. It does seem to simulate the physical world closely but there will be inconsistencies and it will be more like a dream. However, I find it not so harmful on the valuable wakefulness that is the critical element in this experience.

“This door is not important, the fact that it may or may not be physical reality is not important. What is important is that I am able to retain focus and wakefulness.” I think to myself. “What ever lies beyond that door is irrelevant, it will be what it will be.”

I open the door opting to use this overlapping layer and sure enough the door opens and my daughter is there on the other side. It is hard to make out her details, she is lacking consistency as expected. However, I pick her up as that is what she wants and walk into the hallway. There is a mirror in the hallways so I stop and look in the mirror to see our reflections, but I don’t see them rendered back.

The hall looks normal, it has yellow paint and I move very slow and patient. It’s a great opportunity for exploration, I gently set my daughter down and take note of the details of the experience. The first thing that comes to mind relative to this focus state is the recent waking dream I had on July 26th where in the same house and same location I met my grandmother who had passed away 2 years on that date. As I walked in the living room towards the kitchen, I was remembering the experience with my grandma and made mental notes of the similarities between that experience and this current one.

Excited that she might be in the kitchen a second time, I turned the corner and walked to where she was but no luck. I looked around and even my daughter’s character had disappeared. There was no one else present aside from myself. What was more important at this point was the ability to link what was similar between that past experience and this one in that both likely occurred in this pseudo-physical reality interface layer.

It made me think of information stacking like an onion, one layer was physical reality and this layer was a mid-way layer between physical reality and the dream world. The other idea was that it was a bandwidth or spectrum of information that each band of information produced a different rendering with different qualities. I paused and thought about what this reality was representing. My body is asleep in a bed. I am here in a kitchen as if it was physical and real. The kitchen seemed to be a perfect simulation of the physical kitchen.

Satisfied with exploring the house, the next area for exploration was going outside. The walk down the hall was again, perfectly representative of the house that I was in. When I reached the door to go outside, I paused again to just allow calibrate my awareness to ensure that I was not losing valuable wakefullness. The last thing I wanted to do was slip into an unconscious dream so these brief pauses and reaffirmations although time consuming and awkward in the flow of experiences are worth their weight in gold for maintaining healthy waking awareness.

The door opens up to the driveway with the same flight of stairs leading down. The area looks as it appears in waking life. Even the fenced area, the motor home, the trees in the yard and the gate at the end of the driveway were still matching what should be there. The driveway has a fenced gate that was closed. It was here that I rested on the gate and took another pause in the experience to simply observe details and recalibrate my awareness.

The sky is beautifully blue, the trees seem alive and animated with wind blowing the leaves. I look up the road at the same road that I see with my physical eyes but now I was seeing the same road in a different body. Everything look wonderful and beautiful. It was absolutely thrilling to be in this focus state and observe what usually would be consider common and mundane. However, I’m just thrilled to be here in this state observing everything with a fresh perspective.

An interesting observation is that I also pick up other people but as if they are translucent ghost-like or shadow people walking about. They are not visually rendered in crisp detail but their faint movements are human and noticeable. When I focus on them, I can get a faint mental impression what they are thinking, or at least, what I think they are thinking when my focus connects with that ghostly character.

“He can see us.” “Does he know we are here.” “He’s looking at me.” “He knows.” these are some of the thoughts that seem to come off them as I try to perceive what is there. Being at this crossroad, I don’t really know what to make of them but it does inspire an idea.

Remembering that I met my grandmother in the last similar experience, I thought it would be nice to see if I can connect with her here so I call out for her. I do this several times and my voice is very clear and audible. “Grandma, are you there? If you can hear me, come to my location.” I repeat several variances even saying her full name a few times and I wait. I was excited that she would show up but that didn’t happen. I wasn’t disappointed rather happy that I had this opportunity to try to make contact if that was at all possible.

What did seem to take notice was the ghost-like shadow people, they were certainly taking an interest in what I was doing while leaning up against the gate. I just smiled at them and enjoyed the freedom of being where I was, it brought a great sense of joy, peace and happiness.

When I looked up at the sky, I could see the same circular fractal-like face that I first saw before this experience happened. This time it was massive, larger than a full moon by about 5 times and clearly high in the sky looking down at me. It didn’t frighten me, and I was very curious as to why this was now present and could link the memory of it to the initial pre-sleep hypnagogia. I remembered that it seemed to beam some energy at me which caused me to fall out of bed or at least go out-of-body.

“I see, it’s you again. Did you do this?” I ask it.

It doesn’t respond and I love details so I look at how this character seemed to represent itself within this state. The same dashed lines which were thicker over a mosaic of other finer geometric lines forming a face akin to Pareidolia. More like a big smiley face in the sky.

The geometrical circle shape again seems to try to communicate by sending a type of awareness or energy towards me. It’s hard to explain but it feels like a vibrational frequency and I cannot seem to interpret the information. It just feels like vibrations when it reaches me.

“Well, who and what ever you are, if you helped me get to this focus state, I appreciate your help. Looks like you were successful.” I tell it.

No doubts about it, this focus state where my body is asleep and I am now present in this new reality perspective is outstanding. I’m really thrilled and happy because not only is it a wonderful experience, the quality of how awake I am during this experience is what I covet the most. I think about this as a real opportunity for exploration. Unlike past experiences in my youth where the need was always to rush and explore, this time I just wanted to relax and not create any urgency.

It was thrilling to be here. The next very important detail I wanted to examine was the interface itself. What made this reality appear real, how was I interacting with it? How was I seeing with out eyes, speaking without a body and hearing without ears. Clearly, being in this state required having a simulated body that mimicked the physical body producing virtual eyes, virtual ears et al. I thought about the body as an interface to this reality focus and like a physical body, it was allowing me to interact with the information represented by the objects, people and things that I was observing.

What was this body really, what were the trees, the gate I was resting on, the buildings and the road that I could see? It became very obvious that all of these artifacts were types of thought-forms. It was vividly clear that thought was producing the objects by describing them similar to how I was visualizing similar details in the 2D TV phase of my sleep. Except instead of a 2D view, this was a fully spacial rendered 3D environment.

The next detail was that not only was thought describing the environment, the thought itself was a type of non-verbal communication, a language. For all intents and purposes I was engaged in a type of non-verbal communication with something else. I looked back up at the sky and the circular fractal intelligence was still there and I had another epiphany.

“I understand, we are talking to each-other using this virtual reality simulation as an interface by which we are communicating. You don’t think in words because you are thinking in the context of this experience. Your thoughts and my thoughts are producing this simulation.” I think to the being.

It’s amazing that everything is now not about physical reality rather language and communication between different aspects of the psyche. The relationship between thought, language and communication was very clear. All of the rendered environmental details which simulated reality in this state was suddenly reduced down to thought and language.

The other intelligence seemed to radiate with that acknowledgement.

“You are probably just another aspect of myself, and vice versa. We are engaged in a type of non-verbal communication with ourself.” I tell it.

It seems to agree with that, I can only feel feedback as it’s talking in a non-verbal structure that is creating the current reality focus state that I am in. Again it seems to resonate with that reply. This really makes me happy. I feel a tremendous amount of love and respect for literally everything.

“What a wonderful reality we are. Hard to imagine we are on such a grand adventure with ourself.” I tell it as I lean up against the fence. Again, waves of happiness, joy and appreciation bubble up from within me. It’s hard to contain just how exciting and wonderful being here is.

I lift up and float into the air with my arms stretched out and I just feel everything and it feels great. I reach out with love and embrace everything around me like a big hug. What else could I do, it’s the only way I could think to show my gratitude. In doing so, the shadowy ghost like people seemed to connect with that expression and I could hear at least one say, “We are loved”

Then I wake up and log the experience.

This again was a very rewarding experience in being awake when the body is asleep. Was I out-of-body? I don’t know if that is as important as the experience itself. What was more important to me was the fact that my body was asleep, and I was now in another location that wasn’t physical having a very real experience where I was awake and conscious. The value I place in being conscious during sleep far exceeds the content that arises in those adventures. In the end, it’s better to have had an experience rather than nothing at all.

The best part is, I hardly slept so there is a lot more time to dream and what makes the next phase of sleep even better is that I am fully aware that I am dreaming the whole time I am asleep, so everything from this point on is a lucid dream.

When I fall back to sleep, once the excitement wears off and I can rest again I am quite excited about the prospect of new opportunities to have consciousness during sleep and feel pretty good about it at this point.

The dream starts to take shape within the hypnagogic stages of falling asleep. I feel a little like a kid in a candy store again filled with a sense of adventure, excitement and enthusiasm for the experience. The dream takes shape and I feel water pouring over me and find myself in a shower. Luckily, I am able to maintain lucid wakefulness so the transition is fun to observe. The dream happens very quickly so while I am falling physically asleep, details of the dream start to emerge and take shape with less vivid detail and it’s very fluid and dynamic because of the swirling hypnagogic fractal geometry that precedes the final rendered dream.

When the dream clicks however the transition from waking to sleep is within a second and quite often this causes me to lose lucid clarity. The other problem is how thoughts abstract and that tends to strip me of awareness also. However, the trick is to try to overcome these challenges and be successful in transfering waking consciousness into the normally unconscious dream-state.

So the shower has now full tactile sensations of water pouring over my body. My hair feels wet and I step out and dry off. Again, I pause and calibrate my awareness to ensure that I am actually there awake. Rather than rushing, I am finding it far more valuable to relax, take my time and make being conscious the most important focus. Once that is established everything else can flow naturally in the content of the dream.

I’m now at my father’s house in Vancouver. Rather than drying off with a towel and getting dressed, I just focus on being dry and with clothes and poof, like magic I am exactly as I want to be. When I leave the bathroom and walk into the are where my father is, he’s happy to see me. I have a bit of a sly grin because I know I am dreaming and opt to go with the flow to observe the content of the dream from this perspective.

“Are you hungry? I am making breakfast.” he asks me.

“No not really, I’m just happy to be here.” I tell him.

“It’s great to see you too, I’m glad you could come over.” he tells me.

“Well, I’m not really here thought.” I decide to let the dream character representing my father in on a little secret. “This is actually a dream, so I am dreaming that I am visiting you at the moment and that’s fine with me.”

He has a cutting board and is dicing up some green onions. “You are dreaming?” he asks me.

I laugh, “Yes, I guess I am. Is that ok?” as if looking for Fatherly approval. Keep in mind, I’m 42 and he’s 64 and he shows his age and is wearing some reading glasses.

He looks down at his cutting board and onions. “But this can’t be a dream. This is reality.” he tells me.

“Yes, it is a type of reality. More like a simulation of reality but not reality in the physical sense of the term” I tell him.

He looks strangely at me. “How do you know it’s a dream?”

“Years and years of experience, you catch on quick regardless of the super-imposed realism that dream present.” and I walk over and pat him on the arm.

“See these onions, and the cutting board. They all look, feel and appear very real. However what you have to understand is that they are composed entirely of thoughts. They are a simulation of onions on cutting board.” I explain. “Yes the onions and the board appear real, but are real only in the simulation. They are not physical onions made of atoms.”

“A simulation of reality?” he asks.

“Yep, and we call it dreaming.” I respond. But being in the house is boring, I want to show him how fun and adventurous dreaming can be so I take control of the dream and shift the setting to this wonderful fantasy world. The ground has these ruins like metal animals outlined. There are real animals there but also small dinosaurs running about. It’s a partly desert climate with a waterfall, a river and a small lake.

“Now this is a little more fun, here we have a vivid fantasy world and look at the dinosaurs. I mean, these can only exist in a dream because they are all extinct.” I tell him.

He acts blown away and in awe as he looks around at the world that I am simulating. “It’s amazing, it’s beautiful.”

“Great, let’s go exploring and check out some of the creatures and ruins.” I tell him.

We walk to the waterfall and the lake. I walk him into the waterfall and the water pours over us. It’s just like being in a real waterfall. “Anything you can imagine, you can simulate in a dream. Pretty awesome huh?”

There is this big clam on a ledge near the pond. It’s probably at least 3 feet in terms of width/height and it can move. It opens and closes. “Check out that clam, let’s go get.” I tell my father and I dive after it. I catch it and bring it to shore.

“Wow that’s a big clam.” he replies.

“No, it’s a big simulation of a clam.” I laugh. “Dreams are amazing, how can you not love this stuff.”

We shift back to his place and he’s now back to cutting cucumbers instead of onions on the cutting board. Family from his side of the family are there and he’s making a snack. I walk over and eat a cucumber. “You know, you don’t have to make healthy snacks in this dream if you don’t want. Have some fun, make something really tasty and unhealthy as there are no consequences to eating here.” I instruct.

At the table there are friends and family now seated and I conjure up some really lovely snacks and treats. Lot’s of calories, flavour and zero concern when I wake up. I sit down and there is this chocolate layered cake that I slice into. “This is more like it.” and I take a bite. Perfect. Amazing flavour and texture. There is also music playing.

There is this really nice blond lady there who wants to dance, and she grabs me from the table. She has a short hair cut, long bangs in the front, partly shaved at the back with a shaved bob. It’s quite stylish. She has very beautiful eyes, a nice face with an attractive body. I don’t recognize her as part of my fathers friends or family nor my own. She’s very unique to this dream. But what the heck, it’s a dream so I dance with her. The music isn’t dance music however, it’s more like 80′s rock.

I focus my awareness on the speakers and start to create my own dance music by thinking non-verbally in the song itself. It’s really loud and has a great dance beat to it. I even have to test if I am genuinely creating the song composition because it’s excellently composed. Sure enough, if I change my intent as to the beats and sounds, they change also. I am in full control creating the music and relax on that intent so that I can dance and enjoy it.

This woman is very interested in me, she gets shy and looks away when I make direct eye contact and when I look away she’s looking back. I find it amusing and the dream is quite enjoyable and I keep with the flow. Some other ladies join in on the dance and my father is at the table watching and smiling.

They decide they want to all go for a walk with me and they all grab and pull me to the door. The door opens up to a beach area. The attractive blonde woman goes and sits down at the beach. There is a brunette who again I have no association too from waking life, and she is telling me that they all like me but I have to choose which of the three that I want to be with.

“I’m very flattered, it’s nice to meet all of you but I am not interested in a relationship or companionship. Why don’t we all just be friends and hang out, this is fun.” But they are all kind of competing for my attention. We all go to the beach and there is a movie set being filmed near by. I find that interesting and walk over to investigate.

It turns out that it’s a Steven Segal movie and he’s on set. Knowing that I am dreaming, I find this pretty funny and interesting. He’s acting then pauses and directs. He sees me and tells me to adjust a movie prop which is this frame to some building exterior that was knocked over. It’s amusing, so I pick up the frame and fix the set.

Segal then wants me to fix all of these wires to microphones and such that are lying on the ground.

“No thanks, I’m not your assistant.” I tell him.

He gets a little angry, “You work for me, and when I tell you to do something, you do it.”

I laugh at his response. “Well, technically you are working for me. This is my dream so if anyone is giving orders, it should be me.”

That catches his attention. “Dream? What the hell are you talking about?”

“It’s kind of obvious that this is a dream isn’t it? I mean, how else can I explain being on a movie set to a Steven Segal movie talking with Steven Segal if it wasn’t a dream.” I explain.

“I actually find dreams quite fascinating. You really think this is a dream?” he asks.

“Absolutely. 100%”. I reply. He grabs me and walks me off the set.

“If what you are saying is true, that’s incredible.” explains Mr. Segal.

“It always is. I’m actually having what is known as a lucid dream right now. So I’m very aware that I am dreaming and it’s a lot of fun.” I explain.

“I’ve had lucid dreams, they are fun.” he tells me. “Damn, I want to have one too.”

Which is funny because the dream shifts to accomidate his want and a bed appears, he lies in it and wants to go to sleep to have a lucid dream. I stand now at a doorway to a bedroom and he’s lying in this bed looking at me giving me squinting eyes wondering why I am staring at him. He closes his eyes for a few moments and then opens them again in a bit of a squint, raises an eyebrow at me.

“Get the fuck out of bed, you are already in a damn dream man.” I tell him and I laugh.

“I hear some dreams can actually come true.” he tells me.

I laugh again, “Yes, it’s called precognition and I have had them too.”

He looks at me skeptically, “You’ve had dreams come true and you lucid dream. Bullshit.”

I laugh, “Well, I’ve written books on the topic, I happen to know a few things about it.”

“I don’t believe you.” he tells me.

“That’s fine, what do you really know about me. Due to our subjective nature you do not expeirence what I experience and vice versa so you really don’t know what I have and have not expeirenced.” I explain.

He gets out of bed and decides he wants to watch TV. “Let’s watch one of my movies.” he tells me.

Wait what? Watch a movie of Steven Segal in a dream with Steven Segal was just too much, but I loved the idea. He has this nice flat screen TV and a great sound system. He puts on a DVD and the show starts. He wants me to fix the sound so I adjust the stereo to DTS mode and the sound kicks in for the movie.

We start to watch the movie, it seems like it’s one of his earlier films like “Out for Justice” and he has some sense of nostalgia watching it. I watch for a bit as he sits in a recliner and gets pretty absorbed into the movie.

“Just a friendly reminder, this is still a dream.” I tell him.

He looks at me angry for interupting. “What the hell? I’m watching a movie.”

When he gets angry the character of him on the TV turns into a german shepard dog that is barking and growling. This causes a weird effect where I am now split into two focus states. One where I am now in the movie with the dog and the other where I am with Segal watching the movie of myself in the TV and him as this dog. Which does turn back to him eventually.

It’s a cool effect and my awareness is definately split into two parellel streams of dream expeirence. Being lucid and aware of it, I make note of this effect as I want to write it down when I wake up.

In the movie part of the dream, there is a lady there and we end up back on the set making the film.
In the area where we are watching it I start to pull back my split focus state and snap back to full attention.

“Damn, I have to get to my Yauct. Do you want to come?” Steven asks me.

“Sure, I’d love to.” I reply.

He gets out of the recliner and starts to get ready, as soon as he opens the door to leave it transitions perfectly to the boat. There are other people on the boat and we all sit at this center table.

He introduces me to his friends, “This is my friend, he says he is a lucid dreamer and that this is a dream.”

The people seem intrigued by that idea. We start to talk about why it’s a dream and they are skeptical of it. One of them tells Steven to get a gun and hold it to my head to prove it’s not a dream. “If this is a dream, you’ll let Steven shoot you in the head.”

Steven grabs a gun, cocks it and holds it against my temple, “Still think this is a dream?”

I laugh, “Yes, go ahead and pull the trigger.”

“If I do, I’ll splatter your brains all over my boat.” he tells me.

“What, you still doubt this is a dream? Go ahead, shoot me.” I tell him.

One of his friends gets concerned, “Hold on a minute, in the slight chance that this is not a dream. You kill him on your boat with your gun, you’ll be committed for murder.” he tells Steven.

“Not if this is a dream he won’t. Just fucking pull the trigger already and get it over with. It’s a dream, trust me.” I tell Steven.

He grimaces and makes a frown pushing the gun hard against my head. “I can’t do it.” and he lowers the gun.

“For such a tough guy your being a pussy, take that gun, put it to my head and pull the god damn trigger!” I yell at him.

“I’d love to end your miserable life but I don’t want to go to Jail over it.” he tells me.

“Jesus, do I have to do everything myself. Look, it’s a dream I won’t die.” I grab the gun from him and put the barrel in my mouth.

They all freak out, “Don’t do it.” He tells me to put the gun down.

I laugh and pull the gun out for a moment, “It’s fine, this gun is just a simulation of a gun. How bad can it be?”

I put the gun back in my mouth and smile with the revolver pressing against the back side of the top of my mouth and I pull the trigger.

It causes some crazy shock effect, I end up in multiple dreams again.

1.) At the dentist.
2.) At a morgue
3.) some hazy one where Segal is still present likely the one where I shot myself.

The dentist is pulling some metal from my mouth (presumably shrapnel from the bullet in some metaphore).
The lady at the morgue is preforming an autopsy on me from which I wake up and scare her terribly.
The one with Segal in it fades.

The dentist pulls out the metal shrapnel and I can feel the pain and it moving even the flesh attached to it as it tears.
The Lady at the morgue backs into a tray of fluids and tubes as I sit up and rub my head.

I remember what I did, the shooting myself exercise and shake my head on the morgue table and see that I am split into two dreams simultaneous dreams again. I pull them together and focus where the hole in my mouth, the morgue, the dentist are now all in the same room and I feel lucid again.

I shake my head, “Man, I will never try that again.” and I laugh.

Segal appears again in the morgue and he’s amazed I am still alive. Says he watched me hollow out my head on his ship with a gun.
I tell him it was a stupid thing to do, caused too much fracture within the dream state to deal with and I had to pull myself together.

“But that doesn’t get you off that easy, this is still a dream.” I tell him.

“You mean you know the whole time that it’s a dream.” he replies.

“Sometimes, this dream I’ve had a pretty good run at being lucid. Whether you are the real Steven Segal or just a figment of my warped imagination, it’s been a lot of fun hanging with you in a dream.” I respond.

He asks me who I am.

I reply, “No one really, I am just a dreamer.”

The three women from the earlier dream catch up and they help me off the table and I say good-bye to Steven as they all escort me out the door.
It’s been crazy fun hanging out with you three, wish you all were my girlfriends in real life, each and every one of you. But it’s time for me to wake up and I do.

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