I don’t know if you watched the new Star Wars but this is literally the Paul Feig Ghostbusters of the Star Wars franchise. Men were useless, made to look like all their decisions were bad where all the women were the heroes of the film.
The Liberal PC man hate was evident in this movie from the beginning to the end. It was tolerable in the first movie but this one jacked it up so that every heroic act went to women roles where men fumbled like idiots making bad choices, costing lives basically made to look stupid.
It was so agenda ridden that it ruined the entire movie for me. Not that I ever had a problem with Rey as the lead but they amped the fem factor up so high every female role literally did something heroic where nearly every man was made to look sad and unnecessary.
The only time a man did something heroic was Finn but hey, he’s a minority so SJW to the rescue. They made Luke so completely irrelevant and pointless in his final role. Not at all the Luke any true Star Wars fan wanted to see.
There was so much wrong with this film, I don’t understand how anyone could enjoy it from BAD CGI especially with all the critters and Snoke. The only character that felt like a genuine Star Wars character was Poe and he was the bumbling idiot this time around trying to be heroic but made to look stupid. He had that charm of being rebellious, almost rogue like Han Solo but the movie just made him out to be pathetic wanting us to look down at him. I loved the guy. I loved Mark Hamill but hated how they crapped all over his character in this garbage fest of a movie. The humor falls flat. I got the Hardware Wars homage and that was probably the best gag in the film. Porgs were everywhere and if it annoyed you like it annoyed me in the Trailer, brace for more Porg calls. Cringe worthy!
I almost walked out on this movie and it wasn’t just the heavy in-your-face Social Justice Warrior PC Liberal fem Nazi tone of the story. The story itself was SO bad with ignorant, stupid, meta writing and plot holes it was more cringe worthy than any other Star Wars movie. This movie actually made me appreciate Jar Jar and George if you ever read this. PLEASE COME BACK!!!! The Stupid… it BURNS!
[SPOILERS] (Not that the movie didn’t spoil itself).
The movie opens up with the New Order engaging Rebel ships lead by Commander Princess Leah. The New Order has a new class of ship called a Dreadnaught that makes the Star Destroyers around it look small and weak. Rebel ships are getting blasted and Poe a single X-Wing fighter has a plan to engage the Dreadnaught and shoot down every surface gun so these bombers can fly in and bomb the Dreadnaught in its cliché weak spot.
He flies all heroic like untouched by these cannons so that Dreadnaught can’t even defend itself against a single Rebel fighter. Almost forgivable for the start of a movie but a clear indication of just how bad things are going to get. The New Order now has to launch fighters to take out Poe.
Let’s really think about this logically. A single fighter goes undetected in this Star Wars universe. When detected the New Order doesn’t see a single X-Wing fighter as a threat. Really? A Single X-Wing fighter could never I don’t know… BLOW UP A DEATHSTAR! You would think by now they would have advanced their sensors, weapon technology, AI and defenses to handle a single fighter on this new super-class Dreadnaught. At this point in the story everyone on that Dreadnaught and other Star Destroyers should be shitting in their pants in fear at the approach of a lone X-wing fighter. If the Rebel’s are sending in a lone X-Wing the New Order has to know by now that some bad ass shit is about to take them out.
Instead the attitude is all bah, a single x-wing fighter. Let the defenses handle them. (Implying they must be designed to do just that). Oh the defenses are all failing so now we launch fighters. Do these writers have no idea what a Military does? If a lone fighter craft threatened a US aircraft carrier do you think that carrier would just sit there and not launch a response immediately when detected? YES… yes the fuck they would because that is what a true Military does. It knows how to protect its shit. Not the New Order, just a gaggle of incompetent morons.
Poe’s ship gets hit, his weapons systems are down, Tie Fighters are everywhere now shooting at his ass and BB needs to get the weapons systems on line. Tries to plug a short as if it’s a hole in a dam. Another short bursts in this Dam of a circuit board and he plugs that hole, soon “holes” open everywhere to the point BB’s robot finger plugs can’t keep up. So how does he fix the weapons system? He rams it with his head. RAMS the circuit board with his head fixing the damaged weapons array and gets a good classic Star Wars cliché robot gets electrocuted zap.
Bravo… that’s campy and great but would that really fix a damaged weapon system? Does BB possess the same powers as the Fonz from Happy Days? Ok I can handle a little bit of humor when it fits, but this is a serious moment of tension and the resolution to just have a robot bash his head against a circuit board to fix something is beyond fucking stupid which this movie sadly is ripe in. The humor is lost in the serious of the situation and how that is resolved in such a stupid manner that clearly would further damage an already damaged weapon system.
Weapons system back magically back on (because we know head bashing a circuit board won’t fix it) , Poe finishes off the last gun turret tower and zigzags his ass free of a horde of Tie fighters who still can’t handle a lone X-Wing fighter let alone shoot it down. Never mind any Star Destroyer or Dreadnaught class defenses… geesh. But that was forgivable at this point; made me hope it gets better this is just the start.
Bring on the Bombers. So these bombers which are some new Rebel ship have to fly over the top of this Dreadnaught and drop bombs in Spaaaaace! Gravity bombs. Don’t even try to appease my by claiming these are not gravity bombs because the writers wouldn’t dare overlook the obvious that space doesn’t have Gravity. Shut up now, they are that stupid, no these bombs don’t have any propellant or jets. The writers are that stupid and I’ll prove it in other ignorant things the writers do when engaging the vacuum of space.
Ok… a fleet of bombers who needed these defense turrets shot down so they can fly in to destroy the Dreadnaught which is also supported by several Star Destroyers and fleets of X-Wing fighters. But hey… the useless turret guns are gone so ignore that big wall of other fire power and yeah stupidly fly in anyways.
They make this obviously stupid because it’s whose idea? Poe’s idea. Why is Poe being so stupid? He’s a white male and not the strong, intelligent social-justice female heroes in this film. This is agenda robbing a story of any integrity and intelligence. This is why this scene fails on every logical rational level.
Bombers are all blowing up to shit, and cliché one lonely bomber against the massive armada of the New Order manages to survive enough to drop its bombs in Spaaaaaace! Who’s the hero? Some no-name Asian woman who has to climb a ladder to get a switch with a button (because no such thing as voice-command or droids or any other better than a switch with a button on a cord in some hard to reach location to open bomb doors). She falls back down, the switch hanging on the edge and needs to kick the ladder to make the switch fall to open the bomb doors and let those bombs fall in Spaaaace!
She is successful the bombs fall in Spaaace down towards the cliché weak spot on the Dreadnaught and blows it up. This huge ship is going down but no collateral damage to the surrounding Star Destroyers. They are ok, but make note of this. No collateral damage this time… we are not at the end of the movie yet where this flip-flops in the most horrifically stupid of ways.
At this point, I am kind of not impressed. I am finding the intelligence in this movie lacking and am concerned it really might be a bad movie. I actually might regret watching it if it’s this stupid in terms of insulting intelligence or showing a moron wrote it. The moron factor shining through greatly at this point was certainty concerning but give it a chance.
Now Rey and Luke… what about this side-story? Luke who we all want to see, the reason probably 90% of the people went to see this story enters the stage. He meets Ren who gives him the light saber and he’s like WTF bitch and tosses it over his shoulder. No he hates the Jedi now. Wants the Jedi gone, eradicated from history. He is a failed and miserable old Jedi has been. He’s turned off his connection to the force. Just wants to die. The Logan of Star Wars emerges. Maybe he has a force bullet we don’t know about in hopes of one day shooting himself in the head.
Let’s make Luke unlikable because its SJW now. He’s a white male. Let’s diminish his character and role to suck town. He is ignoring Rey just wants her to fuck off. But he’s thirsty and hungry and a man needs to eat and drink. Let’s go milk the tits of some bad CGI creature and drink green ass milk. Spear a fish and carry that shit to the stone hut for some chow time. Hunter Gatherer Survivor Luke is a shell of his former self. Pathetic, sad, depressing.
Snoke’s even more massive and impressive ship arrives after the Dreadnaught defeat and brings a new cool secret tech.
Kylo Ren with two Tie Fighters are about to engage Princess Leah’s ship and this is that point in the trailer where you anticipate maybe she is going to die here. It’s a tense moment as Kylo at the last minute decides not to commit to blowing up Leah, but the Tie Fighters launch some plasma like torpedoes which smash the bridge.
Now, I am not one for ignoring physics in a movie. Explosions kill, they are damaging to flesh, bone and we have all sorts of problems with compression damaging lungs, shrapnel etc. The bridge explodes blowing out the back wall which sucks out Leah into deep space. She goes ragdoll flippity flop into the vacuum of space which survivability is less than seconds before all sorts of I don’t know… death from sudden explosive decompression comes to mind. Not to mention all the explosion damage, heat, shrapnel that would likely have shredded her to bits. Ok forget all that, but rapidly entering space is a death sentence period unless you are a fictional super-powered character like Superman or a half-cosmic half-human like Star Lord (less forgivable). As far as we can tell, Leah is flesh and bone like the rest of us humans on Earth. She entered space from a compressed state to an uncompressed state. If she even had time to hold her breath, that alone would damage her lungs from the air expanding rapidly. If she didn’t hold her breath she’s asphyxiating. Space isn’t liquid nitrogen so insta-freeze doesn’t happen in a vacuum so what’s with all this frosting up nonsense.
Anyways at this point in the movie I got a huge sense of this might be really good they did it, they Killed Leah. I had time to reflect on how I know with her passing this is a meaningful and purposeful moment where her character dies. I have that sense of sadness to see her go, happiness that she died in a very epic way. This movie may actually get better. It was a powerful emotional send off, memorable, honorable, likeable… for a brief second anyways.
Then the insanity finally reaches its crescendo. The level of stupid climbs the highest mountain peak. We have a moment in movie history that will be remembered not because it was good, but because it was so fucking stupid beyond all Human imagination.
She wakes up in deep space with a Star Lord Guardians of the Galaxy frost forming around her, reaches out her unfrozen arm hardly noticing the effects of all her organs expanding rapidly. Uses the force to fly through spaaaace back to the damaged ship where she stands at an air lock so Finn and Ray can help pull her back into the ship.
WOW! HOLY FUCKING THAT JUST HAPPENED THAT WHICH NEVER SHOULD HAPPEN HAS HAPPENED! I almost walked out at this point and regret not. This was the ultimate “They can’t be this stupid can be they?” moment. Did a 5 year old write this garbage? Obviously someone really stupid wrote this million dollar budget movie, and a lot of other assumingly intelligent people saw this shit story, didn’t argue with it. Had to have known it was stupid but let it pass into the final cut unquestioned. Wow… you all fucking suck who let this moment happen. Shame on all of you. How dare you! This alone is enough to destroy this Franchise for good. Oh Star Wars that’s that stupid space story where really dumb things happen in space show isn’t it? That is what this did… make Star Wars look stupid, moronic, idiotic… made Jar Jar look good. Redeemed George Lucas. Shit… wow. Worse movie moment of my entire life just happened. Unforgiveable.
Why I didn’t leave at this point? Mark Hamill as Luke. That is all I had left. Please I prayed let me see him do something epic, let him redeem this shit film. He is why I paid money to see this shit of a movie. I’ll stick it to the end hopefully get something of Luke that I would remember and like. One shred of hope to not standing up and doing the right god damn thing and leave the theater forever walking away from this dead franchise. I’ll never watch another Star War movie after this, its dead Jim.
Here again we have ignoring physics and the vacuum of space as they open the air-lock door that has no secondary door to prevent explosive decompression and they just open it to the vacuum of spaaaaace to let Leah in. Without getting sucked out of course because the hull of that ship is going to have a large door size opening in it.
The movie just crumbles downhill at this point and spirals into a pit of really dumb ideas stacked on already dumb ideas covered in stupid, poorly constructed and ignorantly thought out dumb ideas.
Leah now collapses into a coma, the Rebel fleet is reduced to a few meager ships and they have to flee the huge Armada of Star Destroyers and fighters who are blowing the all the fuck up.
Leah’s chain of command is broken and new leadership is needed. Someone who is heroic, a true leader must emerge to save this scattered, battered and broken gaggle of ships to safety. Another moment for a Liberal Social Justice moment must emerge to not advance a story but propagandize an agenda. Who better than another woman to take command and show the idiotic man flock how to get shit done. Enter Vice Admiral Holdo played by Laura Dern with her purple princess hair and got it all attitude. Even Poe is like WTF. Let’s make this agenda obvious shall we?
She gets the fleet to jump to light speed, the ships apparently now are low on fuel and have just enough for one more jump. Problem though, the new order has the ability now to track jumps to light speed and is only 30 seconds away so this option no longer works. The New Order has a new, top secret military grade technology that can track ships through hyperspace. Cool. Likeable. Top Secret Military technology always fun.
But the stupid follows. General Hux orders the armada to bombard the Rebel fleet finding out that they are somehow too far away for these massive cannons firing powerful energy blasts to suddenly not be able to penetrate shields. It’s ineffective, but let’s just keep wasting ammo to just remind the rebels that they are out there. Not that the Rebels cannot see this massive armada but let’s keep knocking on that door. The big ships are apparently too slow to catch up to the faster smaller Rebel ships. This barrage has to go on for not one but 18 hours.
Again the physics of space ignored. The MASS of the ships really doesn’t matter because there is no gravity; there is no wind resistance, no terminal velocity to worry about. Forget that fleet of Tie Fighters that could easily fly out and take down those shields. No let’s just ignore any proper military engagement and fire ineffective weak ass cannons which somehow dissipate their energy in space to unknown thermal dynamic forces like um space dust I guess. The space dust weakens the energy leaching it on its journey to the god shields protecting these ships. Oh man… oh wow… who wrote this shit. Fuck you.
Let’s just fly in space for 18 hours shooting pointlessly at the Rebels, the most meaningless and pointless idea and keep that shit going.
Back to Rey and Luke who doesn’t want to train her but finds out she’s all force special. His salvation comes in the form of R2D2 where they have a touching re-union and his heart now lifted. R2D2 brings Luke back from the dead by playing of course Princess Leah’s original plea for help from A New Hope. Woman to the rescue saving a poor retched man from himself. By this point I am so aware of the SJW agenda that his moment is absolutely ruined because it likely has more to do with SJW nonsense than story. Had that not been the focus of this film, it could have been great. But fell flat in a long list of SJW moments.
Now Luke wants to train Rey who has only 3 lessons to become the master Jedi we all want her to be. The training is just a shamble of nonsense really. Flippity flip with staff then light saber against a rock. A whole feel the force moment touching the dark side. Not much really. She and Ren have this force link allowing them to communicate unknown to Luke.
Back to the sad 18 hour space flight of the Rebel fleet under heavy New Order senseless bombardment. Finn wants to find Ray because he knows the Fleet’s ass is in check mate. If she returns she’ll die with the rest of him and so he wants to sneak on an Escape Pod.
He bumps into the sister of the Bomber mission who valiantly destroyed the Dreadnaught with bombs in spaaaace! She’s some kind of engineer who has been tazing the ass of anyone trying to go awol on the fleet. But she’s a Finn fan, he’s her hero. She admires him before clueing in that he’s also trying to go Awol on an escape shuttle.
Zaps his ass, then finds out the truth that the fleet is running out of fuel has enough for one more jump that the New Order has this new secret hyperspace tracking technology. If they jump one more time they are doomed. Between her and Finn they banter around and figure out this secret technology like it was just common knowledge implying if they ever wanted too, they probably could have invented it they know so much about it. Forget highly secretive new technology that likely was guarded and developed in the utmost secrecy. They just know it. They also know what ship it’s on. They also know where it is located on that ship. They know everything they need to know about this secretive technology and report their findings to Poe.
Poe contacts his bitch Maz Kanata who of course knows of this new technology, I mean who doesn’t. Everyone seems to now know. She also knows who else knows and can crack the New Orders complex cryptography to access this system so they can shut it down. Maz tells them they must go to this new planet which has some grand Casino where the Code breaker can be found wearing a red lapel.
Poe tells this to Holdo that he has a plan. But he’s a man, she’s a SJW so fuck his plan right. Finn is already flying in hyperspace to the planet with his new found flower Rose Taco or tico or some shit who cares. BB tags along for the ride and off they go on this merry adventure.
At the Casino the security is alerted to their presence because they just land their shit on a beach ignoring request not to park there making sure to attract all the unwanted attention they need right now to further hinder the success of their mission instead of just docking at some space parking lot like a sensible and responsible space pilot. Nope, just park that shit down where it don’t belong angering the locals is so much better story telling.
In the Casino which is just a mess of new characters and gambling. BB is mistaken for a slot machine which he conveniently looks like. Some troll like creature jamming large coins into BB’s slot over and over. I don’t know what this slot is, is there actually a compartment there? Are these coins getting stuck in some sensitive electronics? How many coins can this dude shove into this robot before they jam up something? I don’t know. Clearly it’s a slot that accepts coins.
The Casino security is now hot on the tail of Finn and Taco. They get discovered, zapped and thrown in prison failing to connect with the Code breaker with the red lapel. Instead we have a new Code breaker, some unknown dude who sole purpose seems to be waiting in a prison for the perfect opportunity to dazzle someone with his amazing hacking skills so that they can hire him for some random job to take him on a dangerous space mission to board the ship of the most powerful and feared ruler of the New Order.
Yeah, he’s just sitting in that cell overhears Finn and Taco talking about their plan and the code breaker and just says Tick Tick Tick… He can do it. They don’t believe and care so he decides his job opportunity of a lifetime is not entering the cell, so time to leave. Now he decides he can just escape because escaping at any moment could have happen. But now is the time. He picks the lock, opens the door and voila escapes. Finn and Taco take this opportunity to flee in opposing directions to go get the real code breaker Maz talked about.
BB’s now incapacitated security guards with clever wire like bondage. It was likeable until he starts to shoot all these casino coins at the guards. Oh fuck me… went from likable to stupid in a flash forgot what movie I was watching. Not one, not two but a PILE of fucking coins shoot out like a machine gun at security guards filling the floor with their wealth. The Code breaker stopping to pick them off and he and BB insta-bond, become best brahs and fuck off leaving Finn and Taco to flee on their own.
They hide in a stable where some bad shit CGI creature sees them and senses they need help expressing all sorts of meta emotion related to the story. They hide in the stable revealing they are Rebels with these campy Jack in the Box Rebel Ring. Secret decoder ring to the rescue. Kids take them in and they mount an assault on the Casino freeing all the enslaved animals for a pointless, meaningless run through to Casino to I assume to fetch the Codebeaker. I mean come the fuck on…
If they ever had a chance of recruiting this guy it was gone the moment they landed in the wrong spot. But trashing the casino he’s playing at for whatever pointless reason. Anyways they don’t recruit him because the security is to hot instead flee for their lives in a race into a field where they reach a cliff hanger moment at the edge of a cliff as security ships zero in on their position.
Don’t worry the writers got ya covered brah! The Jail-breaker DJ flies to the rescue in a stolen ship with BB and whips Finn and Taco into a gallant rescue and escape the planet to hyperspace. This gives the story time to establish that both the Rebels and New Order are buying weapons from the ship’s owner implying both are somehow equally evil in their own way or some weird message that both sides of the same team shit message. It was just more stupid let’s move on.
Meanwhile Rey is training with Luke who really doesn’t give a fuck about Jedi’s and of course turns around trains Rey for like a few lessons because of course she can’t get properly trained while the Rebels are getting their ass handed and has to leave to save them. Where have we seen that plot point before um…? Empire. Derived story telling much. Yoda ghost shows up and I guess they thought using the Puppet version of Yoda in this movie was a great idea.
Don’t get me wrong, I love puppet Yoda but in a movie where everything is CGI already this just felt so out of place, awkward and very weird. It didn’t work, just looked stupid and not that there was much immersion at this point what left of it was ruined for obvious fan fare.
He was a sucky Yoda to boot, not likable laughing like a dumbass didn’t even seem wise or comforting to Luke.
Yoda ghost now has the ability to use the force and zaps the tree temple that has sacred Jedi texts, he can just summon lightning like the God of Thunder. Ghost Yoda alone could probably defeat the New Order now, thanks writers for shitting on Jedi Ghosts along with everything else Star Wars that you shit on.
Ren now leaves Luke. She goes to meet Kylo Ren and he’s now the only hope assuming she can flip his sorry ass from the Dark Side.
Finn and his Asian honey return and sneak on Snoke’s ship get turn of the light speed tracker and because it was Poe’s plan, the white man it fails they get captured.
At this point in the movie every ship in the Rebel fleet has run out of gas allowing the Armada to catch up and blow their ass into space. Leah wakes up, Poe has a mutiny and has sealed the bridge so they can light speed jump away when Finn and Taco’s plan succeeds. What does she do? She cuts down the sealed door and shoots Poe’s ass with a stun gun. Shoots him without even asking a question, not even trying to hear his side of the story. She just knows he is a bad man doing stupid shit that needs a SJW to put him in his man place so Holdo can enact her amazingly secret plan unknown to Poe and the audience.
We are now revealed what Holdo’s plan is. Holdo ‘s plan all along was to go to this nearby abandoned rebel base and she KNEW that the Empire wasn’t going to track the rebel’s smaller escaping vessels. That’s a pretty good tactical assumption. I’m a woman commander and my woman logic and intuition tells me the New Disorder isn’t going to track my smaller ships. I just know this shit because I’m a woman and smart and powerful and shit.
Since when does the Empire not track ships leaving a vessel? Remember A New Hope when Princess Leah’s ship was captured by Darth Vader and R2D2 and C3PO board an escape pot and jettison into space towards Tatoonie? What was the first damn thing the command did? The pod showed up on their sensors. They informed Lord Vader and told him no life was detected but they followed and investigated anyways.
But not now, not in this shit movie. These are not small escape pods either 30 medium sized ships sneak out towards this abandoned rebel base. Undetected by the Armada… yeah RIGHT! Fuck off stupid!
Every big shitty ship rebel ship was destroyed but one at this point. You mean all they had to do from the very start was load up their dumb ass escape vehicles and fly to that planet not wasting 18 hours for Poe’s failed solution to not work. To waste all of our time watching Finn and Poe for nothing, absolutely nothing. If this was the plan all along why not sneak away in the very beginning leaving the last few ships as a decoy. Why let each ship get picked off. An act costing all that precious life Leah made clear to Poe that she wants to save. Yet Holdo’s stupid plan got them all killed anyways!!! God damn I hate this stupid movie!
Anyways Finn, Taco, BB and the Code breaker manage to sneak on Snoke’s bad ass ship. They make their way to the door where the Code breaker cracks the code only to be foiled and the whole lot is captured except for BB who has a clever disguise as a box robot. He fucks off to some clever convenient plot point later in the story.
They are dragged to a ship launch platform where they are about to be executed by Captain Phasma and other storm troopers. Double cross! DJ the code breaker saves his own ass selling vital knowledge to the New Order for a huge crate of unknown cash or valuables. What was this super expensive knowledge that not only bought him freedom but a bad ass payload of sweet loots? DJ knows Holdo’s plan to sneak 30 ships off the last surviving Rebel ship. Because the New Disorder needs this kind of Intel from some Meta-Knowing code breaker instead of their advanced ship scanning technology which doesn’t apparently exist or work anymore.
Who the hell told DJ this fucking plan? FINN didn’t even know this plan. POE didn’t know this plan. Taco didn’t know this plan. Nowhere in the story did DJ didn’t sit and discuss this plan. As far as we know he should have thought his whole reason there was to help the fleet jump to light speed and get away. But no… he just pulled this knowledge out of thin air where Holdo was the only one who knew.
Is DJ a fucking mind reading Jedi know? What about Snoke? He reads fucking minds, he didn’t even know. Sure the writer knew this, but no fucking way the code breaker did. This is why DJ knew because DJ is also the writer and what the writer knows, his characters should all know right. That’s how meta-knowledge works. Just because you the stupid writer knows something doesn’t equal all the characters in your story should know also.
What about Finn and Taco’s execution? They are about to have their heads hacked off with some energy axe but wait! Cliché to the rescue as BB has conveniently hijacked an AT-ST walker and blasts everyone so that Finn and Taco can battle Phasma. Finn the only man to actually do something heroic in this movie strikes down Phasma. Why did a man in this movie finally do something heroic? Right, to the SJW writers he’s a minority. Apparently they think minority and women never get heroic roles in movies. It’s all white male dominated films. Forget the Jefferson’s, Forget the Wonder Woman TV series long before the new Wonder Woman film, forget Charlie’s Angels, Forget every movie and TV show that have everything the stupid SJW believes doesn’t exist today. Oh this fucking agenda sucks so bad, blinded by its own insanity. It is insane to believe that Women and “Minorities” never ever had lead roles in a movie until this SJW Movement. WHAT REALITY DO YOU LIVE IN??? In this reality is there is a fuck tone of great movies with powerful women, African and Asian people in lead roles. That didn’t happen because the SJW agenda came along, it goes way back to black and white film.
Let’s ruin an entire franchise with it though, because that’s what the movie audience wants. We want to be forced an agenda at the cost of a good story and great characters. Just piss on every movie where these roles naturally exists in a movie where they were genuinely written in as part of a story with purpose and meaning for telling that story. Not trying to force an agenda on some assuming misogynist public who lord help them, never saw a woman in a lead role before, or wield blasters or super powers.
Anyways Phasma dies, Finn, Taco and BB escape Snoke’s ship without DJ and of course don’t get shot flying away by the Armada (DJ is the one who cloaked the ship and is not there now remember so don’t say they cloaked the ship to escape).
The New Order Armada stars slowly of course, picking off one-by-one each fleeing Rebel transport vehicle and now we have a family ok part of the Movie where Rey and Kylo Ren face off with Snoke and his Red Guard.
In this scene Snoke who we all know shit about and will form this point never know shit about shows of his uber force powers tossing Rey around like a Rag doll, exposes his desire to kill her and Luke. Get’s her in front of Kylo so he can behead her ass light saber style.
Reveals that he Snoke so powerful in the force who can read Kylo’s mind created the force link they used to communicate. This grand master dark sith having Kylo as a puppet on a string knowing is every intention, clearly established to the viewer. The all knowing Snoke who sees all can’t see Rey’s light saber now force controlled by Kylo (to whom he can read his every intent) intends on killing Snoke. He can read everything else but not this. Nope. Fuck the most important life saving piece of intent he decided not to read, the one idea Kylo had and ZAP… the light saber slices into Snoke and Kylo then force pulls that shit cutting Snoke in half. Done. No more Snoke. No epic fight. Just done. A great villain just pissed on and wasted like every other great potential in this story. Can it get any more stupid and shitty? Sure… this is Social Justice Wars!
Holdo stays back on the big ship while the rebels flee because she has a plan to save the day, be the big hero and sacrifice her life by doing the last light speed jump into Snoke’s ship. The New Order realizes her plan but it’s too late. BOOM the ship warps into hyperspace slicing Snoke’s ship in half causing some ultra powerful light warp energy to zap out and cut, damage or destroy ever other Star Destroyer unlike when the Dreadnaught blew up and nothing happened to the surrounding ship. Sure maybe cinematically this was a cool effect. Granted, it looked great. Blowing up shit always looks great.
But think about what this just did to the Star Wars ethos. This is a super weapon! A weapon of mass destruction! The ultimate sneak attack! If one ship can just hyperspace leap into another ship why not get a droid, an empty ship and just hyperspace attack any of the Empire’s ships? Why bother with bombers. Just one ship. One pilot. Why not do that in the first place? Why bother with rich story about finding Death Star plans because if this attack can do this to an entire armada, I am sure a same sized ship hyperspace attacking the Death Star would have also worked. Maybe it only needed 2 or 3 large sized ships. The point… it rendered every meaningful plot and space battle against powerful ships pointless, meaningless and stupid. That’s why it was never done before and should never of happened now. Space combat is dead. One ship, one self-sacrificing SJW heroin and every armada battle simply resolved. Easy peasy. If I was a writer and had this idea I would be thinking about the big picture and go yeah that’s kind of cool but doing that really shits of everything else because it would be the obvious attack in every epic space battle.
The rest of this movie takes place on the abandon rebel base on the planet they could all have snuck on in the beginning. They are desperately trying to contact other rebel’s for help and if were successful would have had 18 hours to get there in instead of this whole Finn fucking off to get Mr. Psychic Code Breaker. Where instead we could have learned about Snoke and had a real story with real character development.
On the planet the New Order discovers the Rebels are in this sealed base with a large door that has no other exist. No… Let’s build a base and not have a back door. Trapped with no escape the New Order deploys yet another super weapon, a Door Battering Cannon that they just conveniently had kicking around for a likely one off event like this Rebel base. Yes, the mightily based on Death Star cannon Door Basher has arrived with enough distance from the door that it needs to move forward into firing position instead of just actually landing in proper range in the first place. More lack of military tactics by the bumbling New Disorder. Forget a bunker buster from space…
Cornered and knowing the only chance of survival is to fight the New Disorder; Fin, Poe, Taco and no-names fly these shit rusted crap ancient ships barely holding together to attack a formidable ground force of heavily armored AT-AT walkers with spiky shit on their legs. Bad ass looking, epic, great… but basically that’s it for them. They just shoot shit. Don’t get attacked. Who wants to see that shit?
Finn again goes to be a hero and tries to fly into the mouth of the cannon. The second heroic male move in the entire movie, a great moment if it actually happened but SJW to the rescue as Taco crashes his ship with hers and they tumble to the ground. He finds her, she kisses him and we have another WTF moment to remember for the rest of our miserable lives. By the way SJW writers, did Finn consent to this kiss? He had no idea it was coming? Isn’t this sexual harassment? Is it ok for a woman to just kiss a man at her work place without his consent?
Shit goes down, Luke shows up not really but he does I guess. Luke fucking Skywalker light saber in hand gallantly walks through the partially blasted door. Kylo sees him standing in the salt sand and panics ordering every soldier and AT-AT to fire. In a barrage of endless laser fire this mountain of smoke billows at the blast point where Luke once stands. After the smoke clears and fire ends Luke emerges unharmed brushing his shoulder like it’s no big thing.
Ok… this moment where Luke just brushed off laser fire like it was nothing, did he use the Force to shield himself? Is he about to show Kylo what a true Jedi can do? Will he send those At-AT’s flying with the force? Will he do really amazing light saber attacks?
No… Kylo and he do a little saber dance, no force use. Luke actually isn’t Luke. He’s a Luke force hologram. Luke never left the damn island. He just went into Luke mediation mode and projected his force self and this consumes so much energy he croaks and turns to air assuming he died. But who cares, he’s a force ghost now like Yoda so he can just use force powers in the real world now right? Who needs a body when you can now be the all powerful ghost Jedi like Yoda?
Another wasted epic opportunity by a gaggle of lame ass writers pushing an agenda forward sacrificing stories for nonsense. The movie ends with Leah and Rey realizing they, the women are all they need for Star Wars and its franchise to continue. What a shit movie.
Now before you accuse me of being a misogynist hell no. I absolutely love movies for their story and characters. I hate any agenda propagandized into film at the cost of character and story development. Role-Reversals to fit this agenda making a long time established character something else is not good story telling.
If a character in the story is female, gay, Asian, African more importantly a human with a pivotal role in the story that’s great. It’s not about male, female, race, sexual preference. It is about a story.
For example, I loved Tom Hanks in Philadelphia where he played a gay man dying from aids. It was a gripping drama exposing the plight of living with this disease and the stigma attached. It was informative, educational and written for that purpose and was a great story and great movie.
Women have always had powerful and lead roles in film, long before this SJW Liberal agenda came about demanding a story change to fit an agenda. Gone with the Wind, Silence of the Lambs, The Sounds of Music, The Wizard of Oz, Out of Africa and the list goes on and on. Comics always had female super heroes that rescued the men when the story and situation needed it.
Star Wars, the original fucking Star Wars had Princess Leah who took a blaster and showed both Luke and Han how it was done! She was great, that’s why we loved her. She didn’t need some SJW to come along and make her that way, she already WAS that way.
But to take a movie, turn it into SJW propaganda is not only insulting to all the movies listed above and every other movie that didn’t need SJW garbage insults every single one of them. Lessens their already existing legacy of empowerment for Women by assuming they never existed at all.
This SJW movement in Hollywood is damaging the movie Industry, it destroys franchises, it’s a toxic mental illness that the audience doesn’t want fucking up their movies.
Star Wars is now “Social Justice Wars” and will forever be a shining example of why agenda in place of story fucks shit up for everyone. I’ve never written a review and never hated a movie more than this piece of SJW garbage. Thanks for ruining the future of this great Franchise. Sorry George, I love you and wish you never walked away. We all want you back now! Please come back! God please anyone save us from SJW!